說什麼 已經習慣寂寞 你有沒有搞錯 除了工作還是工作
搞什麼 你在替我難過 你還嫌我囉唆 你這叫做什麼生活
一個人 心裡都想戀愛 真的機會一來 扭扭捏捏不肯放開
空等待 等到臉色發白 等到姑媽不來 求求你就不要再裝乖
女人若是想要活得精采 自己要明白 這是一個需要主動 幸福自己找的時代
別怕愛會帶你去哪邊 鼓起勇氣 愛一個人就是起點
擔心明天是浪費時間 愛就繼續冒險 不愛就說再見
Take it on 放輕鬆 Take it on 放輕鬆 Take it on
不要怕 越愛膽子越大 要把心情放開 大大聲聲的說出來
很奇怪 不說我會悶壞 規則隨便你改 女人越壞男人越愛
一個人 心裡都想戀愛 真的機會一來 扭扭捏捏不肯放開
空等待 等到臉色發白 等到姑媽不來 求求你就不要再裝乖
女人若是想要活得精采 一定要明白 這是一個需要主動 幸福自己找的時代
別怕愛會帶你去哪邊 鼓起勇氣 愛一個人就是起點
擔心明天是浪費時間 愛就繼續冒險 不愛就說再見
不要再裝乖 女人若是想要 活得精采
一定要明白 這是一個需要主動 幸福自己找的時代
別怕愛會帶你去哪邊 鼓起勇氣 愛一個人就是起點
擔心明天是浪費時間 愛就繼續冒險 不愛就說再見
別怕愛會帶你去哪邊 鼓起勇氣 愛一個人就是起點
擔心明天是浪費時間 愛就繼續冒險 不愛就說再見
Take it on 放輕鬆 Take it on 放輕鬆 放輕鬆
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus (published in May 1992) is a book by John Gray offering many suggestions for improving husband-wife relationships by understanding the communication style and emotional needs of the opposite gender.
The point system
Gray suggests that men and women count (or score) the giving and receiving of love differently. For men, they tend to give larger blocks of points (20, 30, 40 points etc.) whereas for women they give each act of love one point at a time.
Men and women each monitor the amount of give and take in a relationship and if the balance becomes off and one person feels they have given more than they have been given to, resentment flu develops. This is a time when communication is very important to help bring the relationship back into balance.
Example: A man might count a $200 present as 20 points, but a woman will count each individual piece of the present as 1 point each. For her, the total sum of points comes from the present as a whole. For example, the different parts of the environment where the present is given each get 1 point (candles, music, privacy, location etc.) the card gets 1 point, the flowers get 1 point, the gift wrap gets 1 point and the gift itself gets 1 point. Their totals may even out to be the same, but it's the act of scoring that is different.
The emotional stroke delivered by the sincere attention is as important as the value of the item. This can lead to conflict when a man thinks his work has earned 20 points and deserves appropriate recognition while the female has only given him 1 point and recognizes him accordingly.
The cave and the wave
Another major point of Gray's books are the differences in the way they react under stress. He believes that many men withdraw until they find a solution to the problem. He refers to this as "retreating into their cave." In some cases they may literally retreat, for example, to the garage or spend time with friends. The point of retreating is to take time to determine a solution. What is known is that men in their caves are not necessarily focused on the problem at hand, many times this is a "time-out" of sorts to allow them to distance themselves from the problems so their brains can focus on something else. This allows them to revisit the problem later with a fresh perspective.
This has historically been hard for women to understand because when they are stressed their natural reaction is to talk about issues in order to find a solution. This leads to a natural dynamic of the man retreating as the woman tries to grow closer. This becomes a major source of conflict between any man and woman.
The wave is a natural cycle for women that is centered around their abilities to give to other people. When they feel full of love and energy to give to others their wave is in a stable place. As they give to others (and don't receive the same amount of love and attention given to them in return) their wave begins to grow until it eventually crashes. This is a time when a women feels she has nothing else to give to those in her life and she needs the love of those around her (including self love) to help come out of this dark place. Once she is rejuvenated (by getting the support she needs) she is able to pop out of this dark place and once again has love and energy to give.
As one reviewer put it:
When men go into their cave, they are actually going through a phase of their relationship with a woman, when they want to be left alone. Any woman who has wondered why a boyfriend is not emailing/calling/messaging/meeting her will know what it feels like to be shut out of the cave. Women and 'the wave' is a concept [which] means that women go through periodic phases when they are unable to keep up their spirits without help and assistance from understanding men. At such times, 'the wave' crashes, and it needs to be given love and reassurance to rise up again with its usual confidence.
The point system
Gray suggests that men and women count (or score) the giving and receiving of love differently. For men, they tend to give larger blocks of points (20, 30, 40 points etc.) whereas for women they give each act of love one point at a time.
Men and women each monitor the amount of give and take in a relationship and if the balance becomes off and one person feels they have given more than they have been given to, resentment flu develops. This is a time when communication is very important to help bring the relationship back into balance.
Example: A man might count a $200 present as 20 points, but a woman will count each individual piece of the present as 1 point each. For her, the total sum of points comes from the present as a whole. For example, the different parts of the environment where the present is given each get 1 point (candles, music, privacy, location etc.) the card gets 1 point, the flowers get 1 point, the gift wrap gets 1 point and the gift itself gets 1 point. Their totals may even out to be the same, but it's the act of scoring that is different.
The emotional stroke delivered by the sincere attention is as important as the value of the item. This can lead to conflict when a man thinks his work has earned 20 points and deserves appropriate recognition while the female has only given him 1 point and recognizes him accordingly.
The cave and the wave
Another major point of Gray's books are the differences in the way they react under stress. He believes that many men withdraw until they find a solution to the problem. He refers to this as "retreating into their cave." In some cases they may literally retreat, for example, to the garage or spend time with friends. The point of retreating is to take time to determine a solution. What is known is that men in their caves are not necessarily focused on the problem at hand, many times this is a "time-out" of sorts to allow them to distance themselves from the problems so their brains can focus on something else. This allows them to revisit the problem later with a fresh perspective.
This has historically been hard for women to understand because when they are stressed their natural reaction is to talk about issues in order to find a solution. This leads to a natural dynamic of the man retreating as the woman tries to grow closer. This becomes a major source of conflict between any man and woman.
The wave is a natural cycle for women that is centered around their abilities to give to other people. When they feel full of love and energy to give to others their wave is in a stable place. As they give to others (and don't receive the same amount of love and attention given to them in return) their wave begins to grow until it eventually crashes. This is a time when a women feels she has nothing else to give to those in her life and she needs the love of those around her (including self love) to help come out of this dark place. Once she is rejuvenated (by getting the support she needs) she is able to pop out of this dark place and once again has love and energy to give.
As one reviewer put it:
When men go into their cave, they are actually going through a phase of their relationship with a woman, when they want to be left alone. Any woman who has wondered why a boyfriend is not emailing/calling/messaging/meeting her will know what it feels like to be shut out of the cave. Women and 'the wave' is a concept [which] means that women go through periodic phases when they are unable to keep up their spirits without help and assistance from understanding men. At such times, 'the wave' crashes, and it needs to be given love and reassurance to rise up again with its usual confidence.
Terlalu Istimewa
Ku tatap gambar wajahmu
Sinar mata itu
Lirik senyumanmu
Pesona yang membelai
Wajahmu bercahaya
Memberi bahagia
Tiap yang memandang
Hati jadi salju
Kau terlalu istimewa
Kasih dan sayangmu terpancar
Seikhlas
Tiada batasan terus membara
Terkilan rasa jiwa
Inginku lihatmu dewasa
Apa dayaTuhan lebih menyayangimu
Ku pasti kau berbahagia
Duduk di sampingNya Mendengar cerita
Segala rahsia
Tak tertanggung rindu
Mendengar suaramu
Tawa mengusik jiwa
Sinar mata itu
Lirik senyumanmu
Pesona yang membelai
Wajahmu bercahaya
Memberi bahagia
Tiap yang memandang
Hati jadi salju
Kau terlalu istimewa
Kasih dan sayangmu terpancar
Seikhlas
Tiada batasan terus membara
Terkilan rasa jiwa
Inginku lihatmu dewasa
Apa dayaTuhan lebih menyayangimu
Ku pasti kau berbahagia
Duduk di sampingNya Mendengar cerita
Segala rahsia
Tak tertanggung rindu
Mendengar suaramu
Tawa mengusik jiwa
Saturday, December 27, 2008
想见你，没有你
今晚八点多，你打电话给我。我好惊喜，我好开心，至少你心中还有我。但是你却说你要睡觉了，你病了。明年不能过来见我。无所谓，不要紧。但是说真的，我听后我整个晚上觉得要晕倒的感觉。我开始有预感你好像变了，我希望这个预感不会成真。我很想哭出来，但是我太累了。下次吧！哈哈哈哈。。。也许我太敏感，我太不体谅你。我的错。我活该。我恨我自己。
没有感觉的日子
今天我觉得很累，应该是因为这几天睡得不好吧！今天我有去做工，用了六个小时，没有时间去想太多。因为我做工的时候，就算我非常伤心或非常失望，我都会暂时把它忘掉。今天又下雨了，通常下雨会影响我的心情，因为下雨就好像天空在哭泣，我看了会想起一些不开心的事，心情自然会变差。但是现在我没有这样的感觉，我好像失去感觉。 哈哈哈。。。
其实这几天我在想，也许我太不体谅他。昨晚我很想八点或九点就睡觉，因为我太累了。但是睡前我打了电话给他。其实我是带着没有希望的心情来打电话，因为这几天打了很多很多次他也不接电听。我好像傻傻的打电话罢了，有没有接听也无所谓。但是昨晚他竟然打电话给我，听起来很冷淡的声音让我想他是不是不再爱我了。但是今天我不想去想这些事，爱不爱我都无所谓了。爱我的话，我自然很开心；不爱我的话，难道我要去强逼他。我已经告诉他我的感受，我已经告诉他一个男友应该做的事：做人要有交待，沟通很重要。他有没有听得到，听得明白，我就不清楚。我很不想分手，不想再伤心。
其实这几天我在想，也许我太不体谅他。昨晚我很想八点或九点就睡觉，因为我太累了。但是睡前我打了电话给他。其实我是带着没有希望的心情来打电话，因为这几天打了很多很多次他也不接电听。我好像傻傻的打电话罢了，有没有接听也无所谓。但是昨晚他竟然打电话给我，听起来很冷淡的声音让我想他是不是不再爱我了。但是今天我不想去想这些事，爱不爱我都无所谓了。爱我的话，我自然很开心；不爱我的话，难道我要去强逼他。我已经告诉他我的感受，我已经告诉他一个男友应该做的事：做人要有交待，沟通很重要。他有没有听得到，听得明白，我就不清楚。我很不想分手，不想再伤心。
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Follow Me
You don't know how you met me
You don't know why, you can't turn around and say good-bye
all you know is when i'm with you I make you free
And swim through your veins like a fish in the sea
I'm singing....
Follow me
Everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me
I'm not worried 'bout the ring you wear
Cause as long as no one knows
Then nobody can care
You're feelin' guilty
And I'm well aware
But you don't look ashamed
And baby I'm not scared
I'm singing...
Follow me
Everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me
Won't give you money
I can't give you the sky
You're better off if you don't ask why
I'm not the reason that you go astray and
We'll be alright if you don't ask me to stay
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me
You don't know how you met me
You don't know why, you can't turn around and say good-bye
all you know is when I'm with you I make you free
And swim through your veins like a fish in the sea
I'm singing....
Follow me
Everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me
I'm singing
Follow me
Everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me
I'm singing
Follow me
Everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me
You don't know why, you can't turn around and say good-bye
all you know is when i'm with you I make you free
And swim through your veins like a fish in the sea
I'm singing....
Follow me
Everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me
I'm not worried 'bout the ring you wear
Cause as long as no one knows
Then nobody can care
You're feelin' guilty
And I'm well aware
But you don't look ashamed
And baby I'm not scared
I'm singing...
Follow me
Everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me
Won't give you money
I can't give you the sky
You're better off if you don't ask why
I'm not the reason that you go astray and
We'll be alright if you don't ask me to stay
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me
You don't know how you met me
You don't know why, you can't turn around and say good-bye
all you know is when I'm with you I make you free
And swim through your veins like a fish in the sea
I'm singing....
Follow me
Everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me
I'm singing
Follow me
Everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me
I'm singing
Follow me
Everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me
A Thing About You
I pick up the phone, I'm dialing your number
While I pray you're at home, at home and alone
cause I can't function on my own
And I'll never stop believing
The reapwork is done. you are the one
The radio is on but sound is all gone
And I wanna walk out in the sun
But lately that's been very hard to do
I've got a thing about you
And I don't really know what you do
cause I've got a thing about you, hey you
I pick up the phone, I'm dailing that number
And my heart like a stone waits for the tone.
Oh, I can't make it on my own,
And I'll never stop believing.
I know what is right and this is so wrong
Alone in my bed, better off on my own
The tv is on, but the colours are gone
And lately you've been painting my world blue
I've got a thing about you
(I've got a thing about you)
And I don't really care what you do
I've got a thing about you
(I've got a thing about you)
Hey you
I've got a thing about you
I've got a thing about you-ou-ou-ou
Lately you've been painting my world blue
I've got a thing about you...
I've got a thing about you...
And I don't really know what to do
While I pray you're at home, at home and alone
cause I can't function on my own
And I'll never stop believing
The reapwork is done. you are the one
The radio is on but sound is all gone
And I wanna walk out in the sun
But lately that's been very hard to do
I've got a thing about you
And I don't really know what you do
cause I've got a thing about you, hey you
I pick up the phone, I'm dailing that number
And my heart like a stone waits for the tone.
Oh, I can't make it on my own,
And I'll never stop believing.
I know what is right and this is so wrong
Alone in my bed, better off on my own
The tv is on, but the colours are gone
And lately you've been painting my world blue
I've got a thing about you
(I've got a thing about you)
And I don't really care what you do
I've got a thing about you
(I've got a thing about you)
Hey you
I've got a thing about you
I've got a thing about you-ou-ou-ou
Lately you've been painting my world blue
I've got a thing about you...
I've got a thing about you...
And I don't really know what to do
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